Thursday, November 3, 2011
My Life Seems So Unfair
I can't seem to stop always thinking about why my son was taken away from me. I find it so unfair that women the don't want children have them and mistreat them. I would have be a good mom, I loved my son so much from the very beginning. I get so upset when people say thing to me like "Everything happens for a reason" & "God already planned your life out". What good could possibly come from taking my baby away from me? I cant seem to find an answer to that. Everybody has tries to give me so many wise words about how my son was supposed to be taken from me, how this was the plan for my life. But nobody can tell me what good is supposed to come from my son being taken from me or why it had to happen to me. I feel like i'm a good person. I need something good to happen to me, I feel like I have no purpose to be here anymore because I want so much to be with my son. I just don't know what to do anymore.
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I know that none of this makes any sense to you at all right now, and it might never make any sense, but just know that there is a greater plan..We have no clue what that is, but we have to try to understand why God would give us something we wanted so badly to only take it away..I promise you that the sun will shine again even when all you see is the rain right now. The first year is the hardest, and it really doesn't feel like you can go on sometimes, but the best thing to do is to just keep on getting out of bed each and every morning. Keep on going even when you just want to stay in bed and cry all day. I went from fearing death to actually looking forward to it so I could be with her again..You are not alone, and please don't hesitate to ask for her if you need it..I went to therapy, and it really helped...Much love and many hugs..I am just so sorry about your son..Life seems so unfair sometimes, but I try to think that our children are in a much better place now..
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